The IHopian Conflict - wherein I achieve victory.

Some of you may have heard this story before, but to others it may be quite foreign and somewhat amusing.
As you all know I am somewhat of a shy person (somewhat?) and I tend to talk as little as possible in public. In fact, up until I was twelve or thirteen I hated to order my food when my family would go out to restaurants. Pretty backward I know. Thankfully I am over that, but since I made such an image of it as a kid, my mom will still catch herself asking me what I want to order and then relaying it to the waitress out of pure habit. Frankly I don't mind, because I would rather the waitress be able to hear the order the first time, then have to repeat it to her a second time which "sometimes" happens when I order.
Well anyways, enough background. The story begins when my Dad most kindly offered to take us (Sara, my friend Amanda, and I) to a quick and very early breakfast at the IHop, before taking us to work at one of his spec houses. Before I continue you must know that Sara and I are not wild about going out to breakfast, and I personally abhor all IHops (I had before made a metal note to never step foot in one again). But since our Dad was graciously try to initiate a "Father, daughters & friend time", I desperately tried to stifle the negative comments about the restaurant that came flowing to my mind and tried to enjoy the moment. Enter our waitress. As soon as we sat down and had waited but a couple moments, over she walked, or more like condescendingly swaggered. I immediately knew that I did not like her, but left a space open through which she could redeem herself just in case my first impression was wrong. She was a low joint kinda waitress, BTW I am sure that there are many IHopian waitresses who show very careful attention to their wardrobes and external cleanliness, but this lady was not one of them. This lady seemed to be trying to make a statement that she was on the "grungy" and "the most rude I can be" doorstep just because she felt like it, and that anyone who wasn't, was inferior to her. As soon as she left our table to return when we were ready to order, we were all looking at eachother like, "What was her problem?" Well right then and there I had an extremely "naughty" revelation. It was, that I was going to teach that lady a lesson. I was going to give her the most wicked British accent I could muster at the time which would leave her floored!! With these thoughts I waited nervously until she came back for our orders. Finally it was my turn. I looked her straight in the eye and smiled the most saintly smile I could think of and said "Um I th'nk alav a wee bit a th'Colossal omelet If y'will? I will never be able to convey in words how well it sounded, but I used the thickest Yorkshire/Wales accent that I could. Of course it achieved the desired affect and the waitress was speechless. Unfortunately it achieved some results I hadn't taken into account of. Sara was a gray statue with an extremely open mouth, Mandy turned bright red and stared at me with saucer-wide eyes, while my Dad unsuccessful tried to stifle the small gasp that naturally proceeded from his astonished mouth.
I wish I could say that I kept The Triple C's (Cool,Calm, and Collective) composure as well as the deadly accent when the waitress gathered her former haughter and asked me to repeat the order, but I just couldn't keep it at its former frequency and replied with a very weak accent (not even mentioning the "felt like" burning cheeks and the table glued eyes). Needless to say, as soon as she left and was out of hearing range we all burst into a "quiet" fit of laughter and questions flew from them to me.
Later on while the meal was progressing, I happened to glance over at the cooking area and embarrassment of all embarrassment! The waitress was relaying our little incident to two 20 or 22 yr old guys, who were then craning their heads curiously back and forth to look at me while the waitress was most indiscreetly pointing me out to them!! I almost died, but before I sank through the floor, I suddenly realized something. I would most likely never see those three people again, so I shouldn't give a bloom'n rip what they thought!! It worked!! I looked right at those two guys and smiled. I almost waved, but thought better of it (who knows what they might think I was trying to convey) . It mattered little anyways, because the smile embarrassed them enough for them to drop their gaze and they spun around on their bar-stools in a hurried and confused manner.
We left after all was done. Victory?!